


It's you. It's always been you.

by landofthesmut



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:04:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4240020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landofthesmut/pseuds/landofthesmut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a letter. <br/>The ending is up to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction, so it's only right that it goes to my first ship.

Lydia,

       For a long time, there was only you. I lived in this giant desert and you and Scott were my only protection from a Sun that was made of anger and saddness. And my life was like that for a long time, probably too long. And even when there were others, it always came back to you.

A lot has changed since then, for one you actually talk to me now. Scott's a werewolf, we have Kira, Parrish, Derek isn't so broody...we lost a lot of friends. We lost Allison. And I know it's not my fault, you've drilled it into me enough. But you should know, I'm sorry Lyds. Really I am. 

And then there's Malia. I think I might be able to love her someday. She deserves love, she deserves someone's full love. But I can't give that to her, Lydia. Not when I still...not when I still have a part of myself dedicated solely to you. 

So here it is. Lydia, it's you. It's always been you. But, it can't be anymore. Not if it's not me. I've watched you with Jackson, with Aiden, and don't think I don't know about that one time with Scott. Because I know.

So if it is me. Or you think that it could be... I need to know. No more games, no more pretending that I don't love you. Because if it's not me...I'll still love you, but I won't. Not the way I love you now. Because I'll have to start to love you like Scott. Because I can't keep torturing myself, and I have to stop hurting Malia. 

I love you, Lydia.

Now you just have to let me know if you love me.

X,

Stiles


	2. Reply

Stiles,  
I wish you sent the letter. I wish 26 years didn't go by so fast. I wish everything could be different. But it's not. You married her. You said you were gonna marry me. Malia's great, she is. And I'm happy. I've gotten everything I've ever wanted. The prize is in my hand. I'm everything you said I'd be, I'm everything you promised I'd be. Because Lydia Martin doesn't wait for anyone. Because you reminded me I don't have to.

So why aren't here. Why aren't you waiting for me in the bedroom, already fast asleep? You said you had a ten year plan, so why did you give up after eight? I was almost ready. I swear, I was. Why did you give up on me? I thought you loved me. You wrote that you love me. And love means never having to say you're sorry, but you should apologize. You once told me you'd be devastated if I died. Those words have been clawed into my brain ever since, but when you're not next to me I don't feel alive. 

I can't breath without you, idiot.

I'm not the way I was. I'm older, obviously. I'm not as pretty, but I'm not as shallow either. I'm well written I swear, but when I talk to you nothing comes out right. I didn't kiss you to help you. I kissed you because I love you and I was scared. I'm still scared. I don't know if this was the plan, but I love you.

So stop it. Wake up. Stop pretending to be dead. You. Arent  
Dead. I know you aren't. And this isn't funny, Stiles. I need you, okay? So just stop it. Lydia Martin can't cry over another dead boy.  
I can't lose you. Please, Stiles.... I only found the letter yesterday. You can't die, boys like you don't die before the movie's over, Stiles. We go together. Like in the Notebook. But that is a long ways away. I haven't even written our book yet. You still have to read it to me, Stiles.

I'm waiting.

Lydia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. It had to be done. 10 years have past since the letter in chapter 1.


End file.
